The Tumor

The Tumor

Published05 July 2015

Reading Time 2 mins

Author Stories of Nepal

Location Nepal

"I never ask anyone what they do or their academic qualifications. That hardly defines a person. For the last 4 years I was unemployed. In Nepal, it is really difficult to build a career in aviation. It is very depressing and frustrating to be unemployed for a long time. I changed a lot as a person during those four years. Slowly, day by day, you deal with frustration of not having a job. And then there is this society always nagging at you, ‘What are you doing?’. And having to explain everyone about my career made things worse. I would tend to isolate from friends, acquaintances or anyone who I thought weren’t bringing any support. No one ever asked what was going on inside of me, and how I have grown as a person, or what my inner struggles were. I think I somehow grew bitter and the people around me suffered. If you are frustrated you get very angry. You like people or even love them but you cannot be the person you can be for them. I used to be very temperamental. My feeling were marred by jealousy. I would react to something or yell at someone but would carry the burden of guilt in me. I would try to make up for it but make the situation even worse. I never used to be happy about anything. I had limited the number of people into my space. Recently, I underwent a surgery to remove a tumor from my body. While I was recuperating, someone mentioned, “Maybe the tumor was your four years of negativity.” It got me thinking. Maybe what I was going through emotionally manifested physically. You know cause and effect, vibrations and energy, Maybe because my thought process was so negative, my body took to that. I think the removal of that tumor also marked a new beginning to something better. The last few years I didn’t feel fresh but today, I feel light. And after four years of uncertainty, I finally got a job as a co-pilot." (Pratishtha Karki, Dhobighat, Lalitpur)

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