(Part 1/2) “After marriage, the household worsened. And the marriage ended. I remarried again. After 7 years of my second marriage and after two daughters, I found out that my husband was having an affair with another woman. He had become a different person. After that, I started to feel lonely. His family also did not treat me right. One day, his brother broke my bangles. He dragged me and beat me. I was like a dead person who somehow survived. Only the Devis and I know what I had become at the time. They would swing Khukuri at me. They also dug up a hole saying they were going to kill me. They were ready. The villagers saved me. It was unbearable and I tried to poison myself. Yes, I tried to poison myself. That I did. I feel I should tell you.

I came to my parents after that. Most of my clothes are still there. And so are my daughters. But I could not bring them with me. I miss them. I have not been able to talk to them. I have not been able to see their faces for a month, since I came here.

Here at my parents, I do some work. Today, I cut some paddy and put them in place. I cannot put a lot of strain on my body though. Maybe that is why I am weak. I also think everyone loves me. And if I die, they will also die with me. For those reasons, there is hope to live. I know one day the Boksi that wanders around me will leave me. After receiving some spells from the Jhankri, I feel a bit better. But I still suffer. If I did not have the inner strength that the Devis have bestowed upon me, I would have long died.

But I cannot talk about the powers I possess. People who have these powers will know when they see me but I cannot talk about it with you. I see everything. Where you go and where you eat. I have all the skills. I can read hands too. I used to walk barefoot for three months. It is only recently I started wearing shoes. I am also fasting. To Gaumata and Bisnudevi and I have to visit them. They are calling me. Only then will the Boksi leave me. Only then, I would be able to do something for myself. That is my problem. These days, I do not feel hungry. I can have a few pears and I am full. My mind is only on the Devis I want to visit. All I want to do is Puja. The goddesses are my support.“
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Stories of Nepal x Health Foundation Nepal