“There was a time when I was not in the right state of mind. My husband had brought another wife. There was conflict at home. I was angry. My daughter was just born. In my anger, I abandoned my little girl and left home. The man who I love and bore children with had betrayed me and I was deeply hurt. I felt that my future and the future of my children were not secure and all of these frustrations piled up. There was no place for me to express myself. I felt there was no one I could talk to. I felt alone.

Every time, I had a fit of anger I would yell at my daughter. It was such a terrible thing to do and I regret it immensely. But some things cannot be changed especially the past. But I can change today and how I treat my children. The class that I took on how to raise children taught me so many things that I would never know otherwise.

The most important question that was asked to me was, “How would you feel if you were treated like you treat your child?” I felt bad and I finally could relate to what my child must have felt when I was angry with her. That day I came home and told my daughter that I was sorry.

Today, I treat her like a mother should treat her child. I play with her and I answer her questions. I remember those days when my daughter would sit in the corner and weep. She would stay aloof. She was not getting any love from me. God knows, I loved her but I was in a difficult place and situation. Now I have made changes to myself. I give her time. So much so that I have also started to treat the child of my husband’s second wife like my own. Her mother left her so I am her mother now.

All these changes I have made have also brought about positivity in my children. They are not so sad now. They play around and seem happy. I think it was because I started treating them like other human beings with their individual desires and wishes. Maybe it is because I started loving them like that way I want to be loved.”

(Bimala N, Jajarkot)

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