(Part 1/2) “My father always wanted a son. He married my mother because his two wives could not give him a son. He became an angry man as my mother gave birth to 4 girls. He was unhappy. Mother had to bear the brunt of his insanity. It was only when my brothers were born he changed. His longing for a son was fulfilled and he became less cruel. I know my mother loved all her children equally but my father forcibly made her discriminate against us. Less food, no clothes, more work. That was our share while both my brothers were well fed and well cared for. 

When both my sister’s married and left home, I became the sole caretaker of my brothers. Things were changing in the village. There were whispers of war, of the Maoists visiting the nearby villages and taking children with them to participate in their war. In no time, they started visiting our village, mostly at night. They would make all of us sit around the fire and tell us that all the young and able ones in the family should join them. There was a lot of pressure. Mother worried about me because she knew that the rebels had their eyes on me. One day they took me. I was only 13 years old. Leaving family and my little brothers was very difficult for me. There were others like me in the group. We were made to walk through the jungle, sometimes there was no food and sometimes no water. They would ask us to be careful of the police or the army. They would tell us not to get shot. I could not sleep during those times. My face was deprived of blood and my mind of peace. I thought of my mother and brothers all the time. One day, I had a chance to run away from the rebels and I did. I ran to the district and surrendered to the police. I told them my story and I somehow managed to return home. 

My mother was happy. She told me she had given up hope. My brothers were happy that I was there with them again. They would get their meals on time. I would wash away their dirt every evening. Father never said anything, like always. But there was a problem. The Maoists had found out that I had escaped and was hiding at home. Soon they started visiting again. I would deny their orders and say I would not go with them. They threatened of consequences. Father became depressed and so did mother. One day they came to me and said that they had found a man for me to marry. They knew once I was gone the Maoists would stop visiting. Mother and father somehow managed to make arrangements for the wedding. They sent the dowry, invited guests, and made all arrangements. They were happy to send me away even though they knew I was underage. 

Just two weeks before the marriage, I was abducted by the Maoists again. They said they would release me if I married someone of their choosing. I had no options and I came to Kathmandu with this man. I stayed with him like husband and wife and soon after married him. I had a son and a daughter. When my son was 2 years and my daughter just 6 months my husband left me for another woman. I begged him not to leave me and his children. But he turned out to be crueler than my father. I had no job, no money, and nowhere to go. I was in a city and I was easy to be prayed upon.

One day, this man came to me and said that there was a job available. I had to transport herbs to India. And that I could take my children with me. They said, “We would not do anything to harm you. You are the mother of these children. It would be a sin to do anything to them.” I trusted them and I was taken to a city in India. I was sold and separated from my children. They took me to one place, dropped my 2-year-old son to one place and my six months old daughter to another. 

I was given to this woman whom I was to serve. I was to serve and entertain her guests too. I could not sleep at night. I did not know where my son was, where my daughter was. I wanted to die and the suffering to end. “What had happened to my son? Who was feeding my daughter?” As I spend time with this woman, I would never show her my tears and my fears. I would casually say, “It’s good where the kids are, if I only get to see them once every few months, I am happy to stay here.” Slowly, I gained her confidence. One day she gave me the address and told me to go see my son and daughter. I did not show her my happiness. I just thanked her and left saying I will be back in no time.

First I went to where my daughter was. It was a dark place. This was a place where they bought and kidnapped little girls and groomed them for prostitution or to be slaves in hotels and dance bars. I convinced them that I would take my daughter with me to the market and bring her back the next day. They agreed because I was sent by the women whom I served. It was her orders. I then went to collect my son. My son was in a place where they would sell the organs of young children. Eyes and kidneys. Most of the children in this place had no eyes but I was fortunate that they had not yet taken my son’s. I was able to take him with me in the condition that I would bring him back the next morning.”

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