“It is communal living here. The neighbour’s kids come here and my grandchildren go there. They roam around the community freely. Many of the times, we are unaware of what they see, observe and emulate. We are all good people but we are not free of our shortcomings. Sometimes households do have their problems. Adults are not always mature, you know, so what can we ask of children? Recently, I yelled at my son and the same day I could see my grandson using the same tone on her sister I had earlier. It was a warning sign and since I was going to the parenting sessions it immediately helped me change my ways. It also made me think about the impact the community can have on a child. Is it a safe environment for the children to grow up in? When I visit my neighbours home, I talk about these issues. I ask them to keep away their quarrels from children and provide them with a feeling of safety and love. I live with three sons, two grandsons and a granddaughter. My granddaughter is very curious. Once she asked about a fruit I brought home. I told her that it was an apple and it is good for her health. It was so cute seeing her ask me, “May I eat it, papa?” She really liked it and asked to bring it home again someday. Today, she goes to a school nearby. She is still figuring out the alphabet. When I ask her what she has learned at school, she shares her imagination. I show my appreciation for what she tried to convey by saying, “Very good”. She is very attached to me and follows me wherever I go. When she sees others playing football, she expresses her desire to play and I let her. And without any hesitation, I join her too. While chasing the ball, I pretend to run slow, allowing her to catch it first. She becomes very happy reaching the ball before me. I learnt from the sessions that it is very critical for children to let them win, making them feel mastery She feels my love and wants to come closer to me. It is very important to express love towards kids. I show my love to my grandchildren by stretching my arms, inviting them to hug me. They come running.

Sometimes it’s really difficult to meet the demand of kids. And many times it is monetary. When they make demands beyond my capabilities, I limit their boundaries by explaining our economic status well. By doing so they become a responsible member of a family. We can clearly distinguish between the kids who have received love from those who haven’t. Those who have, reciprocate their love to their parents. So, it’s all on the parents when it comes to shaping the behaviour of a kid.

Of course, we love our children and try to take care of them. But we always don’t know the proper way to do so. And children end up growing without care and attention. But due to the sessions, I have taken and my advocacy in the community we have become enlightened about problems and solutions of healthy parenting. And today, I am happy to say that I am using that knowledge in raising my grandchildren. And apply these techniques not only with my grandchildren but the children in my community.

And we are all hopeful for their bright future.”

(Tej Narayan R, Mohattari)#BecomingAParent Save the Children in Nepal