(Part 2/3) “But life did not stop there. After some time we had a daughter. Slowly the difficult memories of the past became less vivid. She kept us occupied from our thoughts. My husband opened a boarding school. It was during the time of the war. But one day, without notice, the Maoists came and torched the school. Nothing remained. I was getting used to all the sufferings that life had brought with it. 

Not long after the incident, we had a son again. And with these new lives around me, life started to become less painful. I then had a son again. The troubles of the past would sometimes still come to shake me and scare me but now with three children at home, I discarded them. I was busy with the house chores and things became normal. Life became full. The past became distant. My husband and I focused on their education. Time went by. My children grew and started going to college in Kathmandu while we stayed here at home.

7 years ago my daughter got married. She married a Chhetri so I had to bring everyone together on this. I worked in the community as a social worker advocating equality and I had to live by it. My youngest son helped me convince everyone. The celebrations had begun. My daughter was getting married and it was also Dashain. Everyone was happy. We bid farewell to the bride and the groom and continued with the festivities at home. The next evening my sons went to the nearby Tharu village to watch the Tharu dance. They came home late, made noodles, ate, and slept. In the morning I went out to do some chores. When I came home my youngest son was still sleeping. I asked him why he was sleeping all morning and if he had eaten anything. He said that he was feeling unwell. He said maybe a Tharu ghost has possessed me. He went to a relative who was also a shaman. He came back home but still complained of dizziness. I told him to drink water and made him some roti. He ate that, went upstairs, and joined the relatives who have come for Dashain for a card game. He did not sit for long. He got up came down to me and said, “Mother, what is wrong with me? I feel really weak. And I miss my sister already. Can you call them back?” I told him she had just gotten married a day before and it would not be appropriate to call her. But he insisted. “I want her to come. Please tell her that I am not well.” They came. As he rested we all gathered around him. He complained of difficulty in urinating. So I went inside and got him water. After he drank the water he asked for some food. Fried spinach and roti, I remember. I made him and started feeding him. Suddenly, he started screaming. He said the pain was unbearable. It was in his body and in his stomach. I immediately went to the shrine and made offerings to the Gods. But he began feeling worse. My prayers were not working. God was absent. Someone had already called an ambulance. My husband, my eldest son, his brother-in-law all went with him in the ambulance to take him to the hospital. 

Before going into the ambulance, he held my hand and said, “Mother, do not worry, I will come back. I am just a little unwell. Don’t you sit here crying now. Attend to the guests. I will be back soon. I love you.” ”

Saraswati Neupani, Dang
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