(Part 3/3) “Time went by but my heart was already wounded. Father and Mother said that I should remarry again. They said there was a girl. I felt maybe they were right and maybe that my life could change. I felt my daughter will also have someone who will look after her. So I agreed. She was beautiful and fair. I sometimes felt I did not deserve her. I was dark, with a nose that had a cut. I had scars all over my body. My hands and feet were calloused and my looks were not someone wanted. But I was happy that I had a family again. We had a son. Now we were a family of four. I still did the labour work. But my loneliness persisted and I could not sleep. I needed something to calm me. A drink, a smoke, something. One day my wife said she wanted to visit her parents. So I took her and my son to her parent’s home and returned. A few months passed and I went to pick them up. She expressed that she wishes to stay with her parents for some time longer. I did not argue. Her happiness was my happiness. More time went by and it had been a year. I was starting to miss my son. I wanted to spend time with him and watch him grow. Desperate, I went to her and told her that I needed them to return home. They both returned and I was happy again. But I slowly started to realize that my wife was not happy. She did not speak to me much. Not long after she came to me and said, “You are not well. And I cannot live with you. Get yourself some help, become a better person, become a healthier person and that maybe I will come back to you.” I had nothing to say. I started thinking about why I had not been able to appease her. I thought it was my scarred face and body. Or maybe it was about the night I had some drinks. She took my boy and left.

Now it is just me and my daughter. Still work labour. Carrying bricks and mixing cement. One day, I expressed my worries about life to my employer and he called some people. I was working then. They came and listened to me. I told them about my inclination to alcohol and smoking. I told them how I cannot sleep. The sir and madams requested that I go with them and stay with them. I felt I should go when and get help especially when someone is offering. So I went and spent time in the facility. They told me about my problem and how I can overcome it. The doctors came and gave me some medicines. Although it did not fix my cut nose and the scars on my body, it did make me calm. It calmed my heart. And I could sleep. During my stay there I did not drink anything. I did not smoke anything. I felt good about myself. I knew I could get out of the darkness.

I came home my parents welcomed me. They said, “Look at you, you look fat, fair, and clean.” I was happy to hear the compliment. My daughter was the happiest one. She ran and hugged me. I told her I was back for her. today, I take some medicine but sometimes my own thoughts disturb me. I carry on. I know if I do not do good for her she will resent me all her life and I cannot have that. I am her father and I am her mother. I still have hope that someday my wife will come back to me. And with her, she will bring back my son.”

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