(Part 2/3) “It took a long time for my parents to realize that these things happen. And it was their reaction to the incident that made me understand that people will only believe what they want to believe. If something disrupts their thought, they enter a phase of denial. They shut themselves away from the thought that shakes their beliefs and the reality they see.  

That was not the only traumatic incident I went through. There was a time during my commute to college when a guy molested me inside a microvan. The people inside the van knew but everyone became a mute spectator when he repeatedly tried to molest me. I froze too. In retrospect, had I cried out and confronted this man he would have paid the price of his sick behaviour then and there. But I could not. I regret the fact the I did not act at the time when I had already gone through such a situation. I just sat there in disgust trying to protect myself as this man tried to molest me without an iota of fear. The man continued stalking me even after I got out of the microvan. It was only when I made a call to my friend he left. This man must have thought that because I did not retaliate he could do anything to me. He must have thought that I was an easy target. Even today, the guilt of not having done anything still persists in me. 

What goes inside someone who is being sexually harassed is inexplicable. All the emotions come at once and one does not know what to do. This is not something you think about and every time it happens it is a shock to which there is no immediate reaction. It is like when you accidentally cut yourself but it hurts only after some time has passed. When I was being harassed, I was thinking to myself – ‘Why is this man doing what he is doing?’ and then immediately I was overpowered by fear. I also felt disgusted watching myself in such a state of helplessness. As I walked away from this man to safety many questions came to my mind. “Who would I tell? Would they put the blame on me? Who would listen to my story?”