Kavita BiKa Bhimeswor 2, Dolakha
(2/2) “The day I left home was the saddest day of my life. I knew that with us leaving one after the other mother would have less and less support. She would have to face father’s wrath all by herself. She had some support when we were around. Bodies to lean on. But I had to go and look for a better life for myself. We sisters keep taking care of mother even from afar. We discuss amongst ourselves about her well being and how we can provide her comfort. And we do. We visit her every time we can. We protect her the best we can.
Now that I am married, things are better for me. But every time I come home, my heart breaks seeing my mother’s plight. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should not come, but that would be selfish of me. Father is still the same. He has become weak and has no strength even to fight with my mother. I do not know what is in the poor man’s heart. He could never be for anyone, nor for himself.
Men are different at different places. My husband is a good man. For me, I can find solace in that he does not drink and smoke. He does not show anger to me. He does not shout at me. He has promised me that he is not going to be the reason for unhappiness in the family. He is not like my father. Other men in his family are good. We are happy there. I am happy there. But every time I see someone drinking and causing a problem, I become angry. I become afraid. I see my father in that person. It takes me to all the bad memories I have in my mind. It takes me back to my mother, closer to the wounds she carries in her heart.”