(Part 6/8) “I saw my father but not my mother. She passed away a few weeks after giving birth to me. When father went in search of milk for me he was rejected. “We have our own to feed and the cow can only give so much” they would say. Worried that I was going to die my aunt tells me that she would come to my house so that I could suck on her breast. I clung to life and lived. When I became a girl, I expressed my wish to my father that I wanted to go to school. I knew there was one in Gongar Khola. Once, I followed a few boys and found out about it. I saw that they were given books to read and chalks to write. Every time I asked Father refused. Father was afraid that if he sent me to school, I would fall from the cliff. Maybe he loved me too much to let me out of his sight. He would take me everywhere he went. And I followed, sometimes willingly, sometimes unwillingly, afraid I was going to be scolded if I did not comply. I think before breath lest mother, he had promised her to take care of me and my siblings and not bring home another wife. And he kept his promise. 

Father lived a long life and died of old age when his hands and legs gave up on him. After Father’s demise, our lives changed. At the time I did not want to get married. But I was 27 already. And people said, “Find someone or elope with a boy. Why are you still in your father’s house?” The burden of unkind words weighed on me everyday. One day I came to fetch some yoghurt in this village. Apparently, my husband had taken a liking to me for time. He forcible took me to his house and explained, “Look, I will take care of you. We can get married and you can live here as my wife. We will eat whatever we grow. You will be happy and the society will shut up.” I thought about it and with some reluctance, I agreed to stay with him.”