“The earthquake saved me. It shook me out of the numbness. It helped me make sense of what little life I had left in me. I could see that the worse could happen to individuals and societies. In a way, it shook my soul alive. Seeing human misery and relating that to my own sorrow made me realize I was not alone. My priorities changed after that. One day at a time, I started feeling like I was important. I started doing things that I wanted to. I got a tattoo. I learned to play the guitar. I went on a year-long solo trip to India. I volunteered to help rebuild a school in Gorkha. I started to form relationships with the people around me. I saw their value. Although I was still scared of being inside a room or a lift with a bunch of men, I started to accept smiles, protection, and love from people around me. I cried and cried for the most part of 2017. There was a time where I cried for 12 hours a day. But the crying revived my life. I started to observe my own tragic events. And in doing so, I was able to accept my past. I saw that I deserved healing. I enrolled in a psychological counseling program. And I learned how to share my story.

Last year, I met a little girl at a tea shop out of my office. Meeting her was like meeting that traumatized girl I used to be. She was going through a lot too. We immediately became sisters and I have been meeting her every week. I wish to bring her to live with me in my apartment and give her the life she deserves. I see the sadness in her eyes and I feel like it is mine. I do not know why but I feel that my mother, this little girl and I share the same story.

Not so long ago, I went home to spend time with my mother. As I told her my story again, we both cried our heart out. She told me she would put the rapist behind the bars if she had a chance to. But she is just saying that. I know she would not. Her love for him overpowers the justice she speaks for me. But I am glad that we can talk about our tough lives together. Sometimes, those dark memories do sneak back in and affect my daily functioning. But now I am stronger. I have come a long way. I have a well-paying job, a first class degree in counseling psychology. And the most important I am in touch with myself. The little girl from my past stares at me during some lonely nights but now I help her instead of shaming her.”