“23 years ago, I was among the 1700 recruits in the Armed Police Riot wing. The criteria for selection were under SLC, unmarried and no home leave for 5 years. Under SLC, because the belief was that SLC passed men were too fragile for the riots and strikes. I was married but I ticked on the ‘single’ in the application. I got selected and after 13 months of training, I worked as an accountant in the battalion canteen looking after acounts and inventory while the seniors spent time playing cards all day. Over 1000 policemen flocked the canteen three times a day. Once, the kitchen cooked 7 goats for 975 people. I had to keep record of the ration. Who eats what? Who drank milk and had biscuits? Who was sick and who pretended to be sick. Some would roam all day and when it was time for duty they pretended they were sick and requested soup or milk and biscuit. So that was the way of life for 9 years. After that, I was stationed to Rautahat. When the royal massacre happened I was there. I remember they rang the siren late at night and ordered us to stand on high alert all night, which was unusual. That night I slept with 10 rounds in the chamber and rifle like I was ready for war. The next morning we found out. We shaved our heads. After 14 months, I could not bear the heat of the Terai so I called a friend in Hanuman Dhoka and asked him to pull some strings and get me transferred to Kathmandu. I told him he could have my month’s salary if he did. I had made up my mind that I was going to resign and go to my village if I was not. And yet again, I got transferred. After a few months at Hanuman Dhoka a senior officer asked me to accompany him on a mission. He told me to keep guard and went inside a house while I waited outside. Little did I know what went inside that house. He came back and said that I did a good job and handed me 12000 rupees. He said it was my prize. I was very naive to take the money. I couldn’t refuse it because it was from my senior officer. It was only after 5 days when the police barged into my room and arrested me that I realized that not being able to refuse the money would be the biggest mistake of my life. I learnt that they had also arrested the senior officer who had apparently accepted a bribe of 25000 rupees from a drug peddler and that the 12000 rupees he gave me was from that stash. He was released because his close relative was a minister, however the court pardoned me only after 21 months in Dillibazar Jail. The court declined my appeal to be reinstated. I had no money and no connection. I frequented the Supreme Court with appeals after appeals but nothing happened, so I gave up trying and returned to my village. Now, I spend my days farming and with my children. Three sons and a daughter who all go to school. Even though they know more than me, I sometimes tell them – life is just a mixture of mistakes made and lessons learnt.”